The man who mistook his wife for an ink cartridge

Took me nearly an hour to figure out how to put ink cartridges inside the printer. I’ve actually done it dozens of time before, in seconds. Not this time. I couldn’t even put back the tri-color ink cartridge I took out to see why I was having so much trouble putting the new black ink cartridge in. Problem was that the cartridge is an odd geometric shape that has to be put it at an angle and then pushed into a differently angled shape, all of which my brain refused to deal with. I don’t do abstract shapes well. Abstract shapes can trigger epileptic weirdness. Certainly did this time. Complete confusion resulted. The simple instructions on the printer itself just compounded it. I read them over and over, and tried to follow them step by step. There were four simple steps, in four panels, but they only made things worse. Finally, by sheer accident, I got the one cartridge back in–I literally could not tell you how–and then, after several minutes, the other. All told, including breaks taken because I was too bewildered to do anything else, I spent an hour on this 15 second project.

All this was quite new, actually, I had never had trouble with ink cartridges before. Quick, with one hand, without even looking. It could hardly be simpler. Now it has become quite beyond my comprehension. Apparently this is damage caused by having to play with those red and white cubes in the neurologist’s office two weeks ago. Hopefully it is just temporary. Things like this usually are. Otherwise I’ll have to hire a French maid to replace my ink cartridges.

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